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Dec 19, 20243 min read
What is Wild and Unpredictable
This morning, like most mornings since I turned 50 nearly four years ago, I made coffee and stretched and wrote and read a little. Never...
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Oct 31, 20245 min read
Mel's parenting advice regarding activities for children: Cast a wide net
This is a photo of Diego and his pig Loquat he raised at the high school for the fair. We are not ranchers or farmers; no one in our...
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Oct 29, 20243 min read
That Fine Line
Tyring to be not too hard on myself, but man, you'd think that I could be a little smarter. Such a fine line I between just right and too...
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Oct 25, 20242 min read
Surfing Alone
Yesterday I paddled out alone at Sand Spit, a surf break in our region that is decidedly wild. It's in a park called Montana de Oro. The...
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Oct 23, 20243 min read
The Benefits of Sports
I have said before that with my children, I'm glad I cast a wide net of activities at them--that they have dabbled in everything from...
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Oct 22, 20242 min read
Learning to Relax
One of the most challenging aspects of menopause I have experienced is sensitivity to temperature. A few years ago I would notice myself...
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Oct 21, 20241 min read
To My 14-Year-old Self
Today was so beautiful with my son Diego and my spouse, driving up into the mountains toward Mount Baker and then taking a really...
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Oct 20, 20242 min read
May I tell you about today?
Derek and I flew to Seattle last night to come see our little freshman, Diego, at Western Washington University in Bellingham where we...
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Oct 17, 20244 min read
Girl Talk: Ablation, Menopause, Estrogen, and Long Marriage
In my early 40s, I went to my gynecologist and basically asked for a hysterectomy. I had had two babies, my sons, and did not want more...
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Oct 16, 20242 min read
Bridge over troubled waters
Is self-doubt one word or two? What about self-loathing? Two words or one? Today was rough. The details don't matter. I am not a unique...
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Oct 15, 20243 min read
El Cotidiano
So after yesterday's blog post, I woke up thinking about the Cotidiano. It's a word I learned in Spanish before I learned it in English....
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Oct 14, 20243 min read
I have to be careful
Because my brain feeds me a lot of ideas and they pull at me. But to accomplish anything meaningful, I have found that I really need to...
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Oct 13, 20243 min read
There are things that you can do as a parent that pay dividends. Here's one.
It started with swim lessons. I took the boys a few times a week. That presupposes that as a parent you can do that. My parents could...
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Oct 12, 20243 min read
Political Polarization Fucking Sucks
Today I texted with a family member about Trump. He initiated the conversation by telling me about Elon Musk's PAC, which I already know...
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Oct 11, 20243 min read
Oh god this is so, so sad
Around noon today my son Diego let me know that there had been a death on Western Washington University's campus: a kid had died from a...
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Oct 10, 20241 min read
I'm Going to Write a Screenplay
I have a friend named CHIP who read my book. And every other week or so he calls me to tell me to write the screenplay for my novel....
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Oct 9, 20244 min read
The Possibility of the Mask Lifting
Why should the world be over-wise, In counting all our tears and sighs? Nay, let them only see us, while We wear the mask. --Paul...
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Oct 7, 20243 min read
shut up
When I left Cal Poly in 2021, I was tired of language, of the written word. I was tired of evaluating writing. I had been teachign...
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Oct 6, 20242 min read
Everything is OK
What a relief to know that after the last three years of not teaching, I could prepare a talk and not shake upon delivering it, that I...
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Oct 5, 20241 min read
In about 10 hours I'm teaching for the first time in three years
This should not be a big deal, right? I have something to offer. People are generous and will not throw old, over-ripe tomatoes at me,...
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